Mouse & the Billionaire

mouse & the mixtape

Listening

Reading

3.29.2005 Wait....what?

Time Canada tries to figure out how the Arcade Fire became the indie rock flagship, right under their noses.

Great look at the way independents work and includes an essay from Broken Social Scene's Brendan Canning.

(thanks, as always for all great Canadian news, to chromewaves)

3.28.2005 Repetoire

Holy bullseye Bandman. This article by Steve Albini is a freakishly acurate look at the singing process. But, then again, he is Steve Albini (who, by the way, owns the majority of the reel to reel tape in the world)

I was...

tegan and sara

Tegan Sara

We saw them years ago. We didn't like them. They were bad. I agree.

Here's the thing. That Walking with a Ghost Song...it kicks ass. Sure it's kind of repetitive. And yes it will get old in after a few months. But man oh man is it hooky. And catchy. And good! And I like it. And there's nothing you can do about that you music Nazis! I'm gonna scream it from the rooftops!

However.

Here's the thing.

These two ladies can be sisters. Or they can be lesbians. Or they can be twins. But all three?

You can't be serious. This seems like a universal impossibility. I just found out the most recent development (twins!) not 5 minutes ago, and my brain is still trying to comprehend the news. Isn't the mathematical probablity of that 5 trillion to 1? Wouldn't I have a better odds betting that Britney Spears was from Neptune?

Wait.

She's not...right?

3.25.2005 Friends of Karl

When I was in high school I was in a band. There were four of us, but me and the guitarist were the only real members. We had the soul. We had the drive. We had lots of time on our hands.

No one really liked our band (which will remain nameless), but I thought it was awesome. (I think a lot of this lies in the fault I have of thinking anything I'm involved with is awesome).

I was reminded today of a friend commenting on our "sound." He seemed to think that if we went more "punk" we would be better. I'm sure this couldn't have been true (while we weren't the best band in the world, at least we didn't sound like MXPX and their legion of followers), but it sill makes me wonder: What could have been?

Anyways.

All of this brought to my attention the seemingly endless supply of criticism and outside influence that surround a musician. We will always desire to be something we aren't. (At least I do). A punk singer always wants a little more soul. A less poetic singer longs for more flowery verse. A folk-guitarist desires to be seen as a rebel. I've been playing music for more than 10 years, and I'm still haunted by this. I want the musical abilities and style that cannot naturaly be mine. I've los the ability to make music from the heart and be fine with that.

----

It comes down to this: When I was 15 years old I made some of the worst music ever heard by human ears every Friday night with the best friend I've ever had....and I've never been happier.

I'm Sorry, We're Closed at this Time

The Fellowship Baptist Science Fair

It's mission statement is "to get kids excited about creation and motivate them to discover the truth of our Lord on their own."

It features such deepening intellectual pursuits as:

"My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (And Not A Monkey)"
"Thermodynamics Of Hellfire"
"God Made Kitty"
"Pinecones are Complicated"
and
"Women Were Designed For Housekeeping"

I don't know about you, but it makes me feel secure to know that there is some serious scientific study being done in the Christian community.

3.24.2005 Hero Time

banksy

I've always been a big fan of Banksy's, but now...he's moving in to the hero realm. This last month he took it upon himself to install four of his altered pieces at the Met, the Museum of Natural History, the Brooklyn Museus, and MoMA. Genius.

Link: Waxy

These Things Happen

A woman eating at a Wendy's in San Jose found a finger in her bowl of chili.

Now I've been trying to think of something funny to say about that for an hour or so, but what is funnier than finding a finger in a bowl of chili?

Oh. Wait. This is.

3.21.2005 For Those who Cannot Relax

kings

The Kings of Convenience know how to relax. They sit around on the carpet playing (or not playing) chess. They stare in to space. They look sullen. Yet calmly so. They abide in a fervent repose.

Riot on an Empty Street.

Even the album's title perfectly illustrates this thought. An all-out assault towards leisure. I want that. I need that.

Not only this, I yearn to live in this picture. I will play a friendly game of chess with Erik. Neither of us will care who wins (though he most surely will win for I am shit at chess. When he does win, however, he will be most gracious about it, easing my insecurities)

While we play Erlend will pick up the guitar and make up amusing songs, singing the funniest part in a falsetto. Afterwards the three of us wil pitch in for a six-pack of guiness. I will insist on paying. I want to thank them for giving me rest, but they are firm: we all pay.

The needle's arm has lifted, bringing back the sound of traffic outside.

Side 2.

Exhale.

update: strangely enough, dmh, miller and I ran into Erik and Erlend at the Grove today. The two of them were chatting away like ol' school chums, and it warmed my heart.

3.16.2005

Here is a great radio program about digital music and the way it has affected the music business. It features Matty Flux.

Do you remember?

mj boy

In light of the recent MJ case developments and oddities, I was reminded of the amazing Black or White video. This is the full version that originaly aired after the Simpson and was later edited due to its bizare ending. And it is indeed bizare.

Worse than you remember.

If you have the capabilites please watch it and post your comments.

3.15.2005 File Under: Blatant Theft

Funk.

funk

I'm in it. And it doesn't help that I'm watching Crimes and Misdemanors either. On the other hand, alan Alda just stated, "Oedipus is funny." And that is funny.

Back to the funk. I found out the best way to get out of it. Funk. That's right. Much like fighting fire with fire we fight funk with funk. Suck on this bitch. Funk me!

Blank.

Empty.

Nothing.

Sorry.

3.11.2005 Computerman

...is funny.

real funny.

watch it here

3.09.2005 Ummm

abortion

I'm speechless.
Apparently this is for sale at the New York Planned Parenthood webiste.

If that wasn't bad enough, someone decides to get junior involved.

I need a nap.

The M is for "money" and the D is for "desire"

Now I know that dmh already bitched about this a while back, but this is getting crazy. I stumbled across this ad today for the Diamond Right Hand Ring.

Your left hand says you're taken.
Your right hand says you can take over.
Your left hand celebrates the day you were married.
Your right hand celebrates the day you were born.
Women of the world, raise your right hand.

That's right. A diamond for your right hand. All you lucky women! The Diamond Trading Company has now made it acceptable for (a) unmarried women, (b) lesbians, and (c) married women who are just plain bored with their other ring to wear diamonds on their too-often ignored right hands without fear of being unconvential. Isn't that great of them? And not only that, but they've shrouded the whole campaign in women's lib propoganda. So, not only are you allowed to buy more diamonds... you need to. It shows that you are an independent women. It shows that you are a powerful women. It shows you are independent dammit! The women from Sex in the City wear them, why shouldn't you?

Please tell me this won't work.
Please tell me women are smarter than this.
They are...aren't they?

I'm going to go buy an H3

This is Not My Beautiful Presentation

This just in: David Byrne spreads some powerpoint love

3.08.2005 101

Listen to the White Stripes right now. Listen to them and hear Meg sing off key; and Jack miff some notes; and Meg play as loud as a kid in second grade would after the teacher insistes that the high schoolers down the street need to hear, "us make some noise!" Listen to the perfection in imperfection. Intensity in imperfection.

Do that right now.

Listen to it!

Now go and do the same, and quit your belly-aching. You say no one cares what you have to say. I say no one wants to hear that which has never been made.

Let's all make something great because we need to.

3.07.2005 Monday

Someone's got a case of the mondays.

Simone has a case of the mondays.

That Simone is always bitching about monday. Just this last week she showed up 20 minutes late to work. There I am sitting with my coffee in the teacher's lounge, and she comes sauntering in after first period has already started. Then she gives me some shit about how everything amounts to nothing. I would be a lot more angry if there wasn't two shots of whiskey in my cupa joe.

So I'm going to go drink myself to sleep. It's gonna be a riot. Especially since I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow. But you know what they say, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. boo-ya.

3.04.2005 Weekend Off

My beautiful wife Bridgette and I are going on holiday this weekend. I appologize before-hand to all those who will be dissappointed at the lack of name-dropping in their weekend. Fear not mon amis I shall return the morrow next with many a tale to tell!

p.s. Is anyone opposed to me buying up all the copies of Herman Hesse's Siddhartha and replacing Brittany Spears as the main character?

My Other Blog is a Nintendo

In lieu of doing any real work, I have spent much of my day today playing the classic NES game Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. I had only planned to play for a while during my lunch break, but I soon found that the desire to beat the second Bald Bull surpassed all other desires including, but not limited to, eating. We al remember the second Bald Bull (or TSBB). He with his rolling punches, ear-rubbing gesture, and the dreaded bald bull charge. It is with the latter that I received the most trouble. As you most certainly recal it is a menacing move but one that is easily beaten if you punch TSBB in the stomach at the appropriate time. My problem was that I couldn't get the timing right, and I kept thinking to myself, "the 8 year-old me could beat TSBB. Why can't the 25 year-old me? Surely my life experiences have better prepared me for these types of challanges. Are my eyes not working as well? Are my instincts dulled? Would the 8 year-old me call me a loser? Or even worse, a girl."

So.

To prove to both the 8 year-old me and the me of today that I am indeed not a loser I just spent the last two hours playing Mike Tyson's Punch-Out.

I win! Time for some ice cream!

3.03.2005 =

I just accidently deleted a great post. It was hilarious. I don't want to write it again. I'm going to take a nap.

Oh. And...uh...I don't know.....J-Lo

3.02.2005 Book Idea

I am writing a book (and no, it's not my memoirs thank you very much, Chris O'Donnel. I swear you make one joke about notoriety and people don't let you hear the end of it.)

I am writing a book. Well I guess it's incorrect to say, "I'm writing a book," because right now I'm writing a blog entry. So I'll say, I am in the process of writing a book. Actually I haven't started the process yet. So let's say, "I will soon begin the long and arduous process of writing a book."

My idea is this: Dummies for Dummies A whole book dedicated to teaching dumb people how to discern who other dumb people are. Cause the thing is dumb people are too dumb to realise which people are just as dumb as they are. They know when someone is dumber than they are; like, let's say, retarded. Or a baby. But they don't have the faculties required to judge they're own level of dumb. Dumbness. Dumbosity? I'm not sure what to call it, but you get the point. Jump on the bandwagon folks. Think about all the dumb people in the world we could be helping....and profiting from.

Side note: please excuse all mispelled words. Ever since I hired Kevin Federline as my secretary I'ves been havin mad troubles.

3.01.2005 Teaching the Teachable

I just got back from my substitute teaching gig. I got paid a retarted ammount of money to work the second half of a minimum day (that's roughly $25 dollars an hour and 11:30 to 1:30, respectively) to teach kids not to call things "retarted."

Anyways

My point is this: after lunch I was talking to one of my students. She asked me, "Mr. Hofmann, where do we go when we die?" Now this is a difficult question. Do I risk getting fired for explaining my religious beliefs? Or do I simply make something up? The answer is, as always, make something up. So I responded, "Well Paris Hilton, that depends on how many cartwheels you can do."