When we were kids we liked"Saved by the Bell."

We would watch the show and spend the commercial breaks trying to make our hair look like Zack Morris. We followed Kelly and Zack's relationship and hoped they would always stay together. We were sad when they broke up at the prom. We were overjoyed when their love was renewed. We laughed at Screech and were worried when Jesse got hooked on drugs. It was always so extremely unrealistic, but somehow we enjoyed it anyway. So, yeah, we can all agree, we like "Saved by the Bell." Show me one kid born between 1975 and 1990 that doesn't. And there's nothing wrong with that.

However.

This guy really loves it. Ebay seller Chartgraves just bit the bullet and sold his collection of "Saved by the Bell" memorabilia.

From his auction, he lists the following items:

• SBTB Complete Doll Set (I spent 2 years collecting these dolls one by one – Screech is a very rare doll – I have 2 Jessie dolls)


• VERY RARE SBTB Cast Photo Signed By ALL cast! (COA included)


• SBTB Date Book/Planner


• SBTB Full color Behind The Scenes Book (full color)


• May 1990 issue of Teen Machine with SBTB section


• SBTB Graph paper (yes, who else do you know has SBTB graph paper)


• SBTB International Fan Club Kit (comes with Certificate, poster, fan club ID card, fact sheet. As far as I know I have the only one left in circulation)


• SBTB Sticker Packs by Merlin (about 5 packs)


• SBTB Photo card Packs (3 packs)


• Actual photo CD with hundreds of images used by E! Network for the True Hollywood Story


• Studio VHS copy given to me by E! Networks of the E1 SBTB True Hollywood Story


• Studio VHS copies of 2 SBTB College Years episodes


• SBTB Hawaiian Style VHS


• SBTB Wedding In Las Vegas VHS


• VERY RARE Good Morning Miss Bliss unaired pilot episode


• Complete College Years card set (110 cards)


• Complete High School Years card set (110 cards)


• Movie script from SBTB Hawaiian Style


• Program from a live taping of SBTB (this is very rare – no one has)


• Random SBTB Magazine clippings


• 27 MiniDV tapes of all 99 episodes of SBTB and all episodes of Good Morning Miss Bliss


• SBTB Zack Morris Poster


• SBTB Kelly Kapowski Poster


• Set of 8 Original Beth Cruise SBTB Books


• SBTB Lunch Box


• SBTB Bath & Shower Set


• SBTB Board Game (with all pieces)


• SBTB DVD Seasons 1-4


• SBTB Womens Underwear


• SBTB Mesh Trucker Hat


• SBTB Puzzles (I have 3 different ones)


• SBTB Giant Poster Puzzle


• SBTB Complete Comic Book Set (includes the color collectors edition!)


• Autographed SBTB The College Years Cast Photo


• Several Full Color 8x10 Photos

It sold for a little over 500 dollars.

Now, do me a favor. Picture how you think the guy who owned all of this stuff, who spent years collecting every stick of merchendise ever created for the television show "Saved by the Bell," would look.

Would he look like this?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Meow.

Hi there. Just thought I'd drop a quick note and let all my fans know how I'm doing. Things are pretty good here at the Shady Lane. I get to sleep a lot, there's tons of things to scratch the hell out of, and I'm pretty sure the squirrels think I kick ass.

Lola thinks I'm pretty awesome too, I think. It took her a while, but she's warming up to me. She's a little bit stuck up with that whole Queen Latifah big-is-beautiful thing going for her, but who doesn't love the scrappy lovable sidekick?

Enough of that nonsense though, here's what I really want to talk about:

The Detroit Tigers.

I mean, c'mon guys. You're giving us kitties a bad name. You can't even take care of a few helpless birds, birds that just limped across the finish line? That's what cats do! We eat defenseless birds. There's even a whole campaign against allowing us outside! And here you are with a bird-bath full of bumbling red-birds and you can't even finish the job. You're just half-assing a few feeble swipes and hoping nobody notices.

Well I noticed!

We all noticed.

So here it is boys. This is the only warning you will receive. Shape up, or ship out. We cats have long been solitary creatures. Give us something to finally rally around or we will cut you off from the great cat council.

Sincerely,
Clementine

p.s. By the way, has anyone seen my stuffed octapus?

It was around here a minute ago,

Maybe I...

zzzzzz

Editor's Note:

Clementine is currently huddling with DMH in the corner as they weep and put on sackloth and ashes.

Next year, little ones.

Next year.

We're sorry.

A week without a single post is surely unacceptable. We were relaxing so much in the Big Sur that we forgot ourselves.

But don't fret little ones. We haven't forgotten you. You are still in our hearts.

To prove it, coming soon: A new song for The Old Deluder Satan Law Project performed by the Big Sur Cheap Red Wine Quartet.

So did we miss anything?

What's that? Oh yes, we heard. George W. Bush uses The Google. Cutting edge stuff.

Anything else?

No? Good.

As for us. Great times were had by all. Cheap Red Wine was drank. Ghost stories were told. Meat was enjoyed. We washed our faces in rivers. We hiked along sheer cliffs. We went hunting for shooting stars. (Pat won). It was surely the relaxing weekend we all hoped for, and we're counting down the days until we can do it again.

Hopefully next year, some more of y'all can go too.

See you then.

All right.

We've been pussyfooting around this long enough. We've made claims. We've boasted boasts. It's time to really take action.

Let's Get Famous.

Okay, team. Here's what we do. Watch these two videos that were made in the 80s and early 90s. The 80s and early 90s are big right now, so these are sure to help.



Good to know. Famous people need to stand in boxes! All right what else?



Now, on to step three. Step three: watch, Almost Famous.

I'm sleepy. I'm tired. I'm yawny.

I'm live at the Acropolis.

Soy cansado - Je suis fatigué - Sono stanco - Ik ben vermoeid - Eu sou tired - Ich bin müde - 我是疲乏

This is where I want to work. Diodes and regulators would be connected to my brain via Townsend-ish curly cables monitoring my dream-state. I would wake up at 5 to go to work. I would commute in my jammies, drinking warm milk. The scientists would say, "You are such an excellent worker. You sleep better, longer, and harder than anyone we have working for us. We want to promote you to vice-president of Nappy-time." I would be honored. When I retire they will give me a gold alarm-clock. (Though I won't ever need to use it).

Speaking of science, The Science of Sleep is a good movie )

The average human is awake for 16 hours and sleeps for 8. That means 1/3 of your life is spent sleeping. So if I live 80 years, 26 of those years would be spent sleeping. I will have spent more time in my dreams than in the town I grew up in. More time flying than driving. More time speaking to animals than friends.

Speaking of animals, horses, sheep and cows (sometimes) can all sleep standing up. Big deal. I could do that.

Let's hear it for sleep. Sleep helps us grow, restore our wounded cells, improves our memory, and, most importantly, is so damn nice in a big fuffy bed at 7 o'clock in the morning.

Y
a
a
a
a
a
w
n

Good night.

The Ambassador Youth Web Site recently ran a story by Kevin D. Denee titled Blogs - And God's Youth.

Their verdict:

Let me emphasize that no one - including adults - should have a blog or personal website (unless it is for legitimate business purposes).

Wait. Why?

Because of the obvious dangers; the clear biblical principles that apply; the fact that it gives one a voice; that it is almost always idle words; that teens often do not think before they do; that it is acting out of boredom; and it is filled with appearances of evil—blogging is simply not to be done in the Church. It should be clear that it is unnecessary and in fact dangerous on many levels.

Now, I don't even want to get in to the overarching theological issues that we're dealing with here. I spent way too many hours in college discussing and re-discussing these things. (In particular the implications of the appearance of evil via 1 Thesselonians 5 - one girl had never been to a movie theater because her family didn't want one in the community to even think they were going to an R rated movie)

I also don't want to scold the writers/fevered-readers of this article for being concerned for the children. The world is a scary place. There are people out there who wish others ill-will.

What I do have a problem with is this online magazine's blatant feuling of the fear of the Christian community. I hate to see inteligent well-meaning people driven to overarching bans on culture because of its possible misuse. Our solution should be inteligent discource, not blind assumptions. We need to discuss what things to avoid with an open dialogue.

Kevin disagrees:

The Internet - and more specifically blogs - has enabled everyone to have a voice on any matter. Now everyone's thoughts are "published" for all to see. Whether or not it is effective, as soon as something is posted the person has a larger voice. It often makes the blogger feel good or makes him feel as if his opinion counts - when it is mostly mindless blather!

Ouch.

Well, I guess your voice wins this round, eh Kev?

Read the whole article here. Let's discuss.


Via Spare Room

It's time to act, my friends. Months ago I called you to action. Today is the day to follow through.

Here is an excerpt from the e-mail I just received from The Hoff Alert.

Go out and buy 'Jump In My Car', a delightful ode to highway harassment, a gleeful celebration of the joys of luring unsuspecting women into your talking lovewagon. Truly, a stranger danger masterpiece (told from the stranger's point of view).

The last time the Hoff motivated people like this, the Berlin Wall came down. Who knows what may happen this time? World peace? Perhaps. An end to global suffering? Possibly. The presence of something other than X Factor induced tedium at number 1? We can but hope.

Who need more of a reason than that? You heard the people.

Buy Jump in My Car From iTunes

Let's do it. Let's get the Hoff to number 1!

UPDATE: In a recent television interview in the UK, Hasselhoff falls alseep during a commercial break and claims K.I.T.T. was gay.

Maybe all of this becoming number one (#1) stuff is going to his head.

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The new month's mix tape is up at Mouse & the Mixtape. You can download/stream the mp3 as always, but now, you can also download a pdf of the cover art for making your own copy if you so desire. Enjoy.

I streamed the new Cold War Kids album today. It was good to hear some of their new songs and a new take on some old favorites. Every day they make better and better music. I am proud and jealous of them.

L and I found a small black kitten on the streets of Silverlake last night. We have taken her home and introduced her to the family. She has yet to win Lola's heart, but it only took a few seconds and she's got ours in her little paws. We have named her Clementine.

And finally, for those of you keeping score.

Me: 365
Cigarettes: 0

I win.


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