We have lost the art of derogatory names. This is probably a good thing, but I’ve been really interested in the wealth of slurs used in HBO’s Deadwood, which we have become hooked on thanks to the ol’ c**ksucker himself, Jarvis Pickle. The language is offensive, yes, but it used to portray the old west, in which men were not gentle. (The f-bomb is dropped 43 times in the first episode).

In Carl Swenson’s New York Times Magazine article Deadwood – Swearing in the Old West he argues that many of these words were probably not in existence at the time. However, many of those they did use would probably sound like jibberish to us. In fact, many of the slurs included in the show are still confusing, but that doesn’t stop me from being intrigued by them.

So, without further ado..

My Top 5 Favorite Derogatory Names From HBO’s Hit Series Deadwood

5. Hoople Head

Used most often by the man-you-love-to-hate Al Swearengen. Urban Dictionary defines it as derived from slang “hoople” which means a drunk; a drunkard.

“Give those hoople heads some drinks to calm them down.”

4. Dirt Worshippers

Used in reference to Native Americans, supposedly for the reverence of nature.

3. Squareheads

The German orphan is constantly being referred to as that orphan squarehead. Urban Dictionary says it refers to “the common shape in which many Germans heads are shaped. Dominating brow bones and a square jaw are what create this square look.”

2. Celestials

Describes the Chinese population of Deadwood based on their reverence, much like the Native Americans, but in regards to cycles of the sun, moon and stars.

1. C**ksucker

No one is immune from this one. Women, children, animals, inanimate objects. Probably rooted in some kind of homophobia, one can use this liberally to fit right in, much like a Junior High student from Nebraska who moves to Los Angeles and starts calling everyone “holmes”.

So there you have it. Times may change, but name-calling, while not as interesting in current society, has always been popular. So go and greet your fellow man, you yellow-bellied snake wrestler.

According to Charles Hodgson of Podictionary fame there was no word woman in Old English. All human beings were considered man, and the word for a “female human” was wife.

Later on, people started combining “female human” (wife) with “human being” (man) to get wifman, which is where we get our current woman.

I could think of something really clever and/or funny to say about this, but I’m way too tired. Any takers?

In 1897 Felix Hoffmann, who had just invented Aspirin for the Bayer pharmaceutical company, followed his success by synthesizing Heroin eleven days later. That’s a busy couple of weeks.

Bayer later named the substance “heroin”, from the German “heroisch” because people who took it in clinical trials claimed it made them feel “heroic.”

Looks like the Hofmann side of my family may be distantly responsible for Heroin. I guess we all have our ups and downs.

Via Charles Hodgson’s Podictionary

Read more about Heroin’s history at Wikipedia.