Parsons MFADT grad student and all around cool dude Joe Saavedra’s excellent SOBEaR, the responsible robot bartender was recently featured on Engadget and Gizmodo.

Breathing into SOBEaR’s face, he can tell how much you’ve had to drink and he’ll pour in relation to that. Nothing yet? You get a shot of vodka. A few drinks in? How about some straight cranberry juice, you lush.

Wait a second. A bartender that pours only vodka and cranberry, is a tad slow, isn’t much of a conversationalist, and can tell how much you’ve had to drink when you blow in his face? He should be able to get a job near NYU, no problem. Zing!

And, let’s be honest, we all could use more robot pandas in our lives, right?

Now, you all know I’m not much of a vodka fan, but I think Dan Aykroyd’s new triple herkimer diamond distilled Newfoundland deep aquifir pure spirit vodka bottled in a Crystal Head built to specification after the 13 crystal heads that aliens gave us may just make me change my mind.

[ Via Waxy ]

During my various internet wanderings this morning I found this banner ad campaign. “Captain Morgan for President. A little Captain in the White House”

A little Captain in the White House?

On what level is this a good idea? Are they suggesting that we need a president who drinks Captain Morgan rum? That’s what America needs? A frat-boy with questionable taste in alcoholic beverages who can “party like the legend” and drools over the morganettes? That’s taking this whole I-want-a-president-who’s-just-like-me thing a bit too far, don’t ya think?

Maybe they are suggesting that Captain Morgan himself should be president. Or just someone a lot like him. A leader of men. A pirate. A killer, thief, and a liar. Wayne Curtis from his book, “And a Bottle of Rum,” relays this story:

Morgan’s appearance in the streets of Portobelo that morning was a surprise, but his reputation for brutality had no doubt preceded him. Coastal residents generally found it to be unwise to withhold information about hidden riches if Captain Morgan knocked on their doors. Those who did would be stretched on the rack, or have flaming sticks tied between their fingers, or a cord twisted around their head so tightly that their eyeballs popped like grapes from their skins…

Hmm. Interesting. Needless to say, whatever way you shake it, I’ll take my White House sans the Captain.

Hey dudes. Cocktail Kitchen is finally on the iTunes podcast store, and we need your support.

So head on over, subscribe (it’s free y’all), learn how to make a good cocktail, and leave us a glowing review.

Link to the Cocktail Kitchen page in the iTunes Store

Yeah, yeah. We know there’s only two so far. But we plan on making more (and more regularly), we promise.

The New Yorker recently featured an enlightneing article about Raymond Carver’s editorial process under Gordon Lish. In the same issue they ran a never-before published Carver short story, “Beginners”, with the Lish-edited version on the web. It is fascinating to get a peek behind the curtain of this profitable but frustrating relationship.

I was reminded of this today, after reading the hilarious piece, Famous Authors Predict the Winner of Super Bowl XLII, by Shane Ryan. Here is the Carver excerpt:

Raymond Carver

I really admire what the Giants have done this season. It isn’t often you see a team struggle early, eke out a series of road wins, and still manage to peak at the perfect moment. It’s a rare occurrence, I’ll say that much.

On the other side, you’ve got football’s version of Goliath. Experts tell me the Patriots are the strongest team in NFL history. From the moment they beat the Colts, they’ve been earmarked as Super Bowl Champions. It’s tough to pick against an undefeated record.

All that being said, I’ve been so impressed with Eli Manning’s development these last four weeks that I’m willing to take the underdog. What can I say? I believe in the New York Giants.

Prediction: Giants 31, Patriots 28

Raymond Carver, edited by Gordon Lish

It isn’t a thing you see often, I’ll say that much.

They tell me this is Goliath.

I believe in Giants.

Prediction: G.

Funny. You should check it out. The Cormac McCarthy and Kerouac predictions made me laugh as well. So have a good Super Bowl weekend, y’all. I won’t be watching since I’ll be slinging booze to other people who won’t be watching, but I hope it is a thoroughly entertaining and enlightening experience.

You want to make high-quality cocktails, but can’t figure out why the Martini you bought last night for 12 dollars doesn’t taste like your rubbing alcohol monstrosity? Here’s a tip: put down that olive brine, stop shaking the hell out of that damn thing, and pay attention to this.

It’s Cocktail Kitchen with Nate Dumas.

Learn a few tricks of the trade. Make a few drinks. And if you’re lucky you’ll learn how to make your drinks go from the cellar to stellar.

Download the First Episode

Last night, L- and I visited McSorley’s Old Ale House, a New York institution that has been brewing its own beer since 1854.

The website claims “Everyone from Abe Lincoln to John Lennon have passed thru McSorley’s swinging doors. Woody Guthrie inspired the union movement from a table in the front – guitar in hand.”

Entering, we were greeted by a young Irishman who said simply, “Laight o Daark.”

Both

While were drinking, L- and I began discussing the phenomena of sawdust-covered floors in bars. Why do they do it now? Why did they ever begin doing it? Turns out, according to the book Do Elephants Jump? by David Feldman, that saloons in the old west started using sawdust on the floor because, in a time and place when water was scarce, it made cleaning up blood, beer, puke, and other “foul substances” a whole lot easier. Not to mention, spit.

People used to spit all the time. Late-nineteenth-century bar books advise people looking for for a job behind the bar not to spit during the interview, and also advise bartenders not to spit while on duty.

Eventually, regulators banned the use of sawdust as both highly flammable and unhealthy. So the next time you are at a bar/restaurant with sawdust on the floor you can think to yourself, “It’s a good thing that sawdust is in here. I just might need to vomit, and I would hate to make any kind of mess that would be hard to clean up.”